Sometimes I worry my expectations when it comes to friendship are too high. I demand a lot from my friends, but I give back exactly as I get. Loyalty is extremely important to me, as is honesty. When those two are removed from the equation, then the friendship is just not a friendship to me any longer.
Betrayal sucks. What sucks even more than that is when the other party doesn't seem to acknowledge the betrayal; when the other party seems to take your friendship and step on it without so much as a second thought.
I feel like a child with all the thoughts running through my head lately -- who sits and wonders anymore whether or not their 'friends' are their 'real friends'? That's just ridiculous. I'm at a point in my life when my inner circle of friends should have long since been developed. When I no longer have to worry about losing my 'real friends' should we have an argument or disagree on something, or whatever. Petty stuff! I'm not a child anymore, and I would hope they felt the same.
It kills me that I could be so wrong.
I'm not saying I'm not partly to blame -- perhaps in the past, through several misunderstandings, I've done my fair share of being a bad friend. But I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if I ever did anything to hurt any of my dear friends, I did so without realizing, and once I realized, I did my best to amend the situation.
It sucks when the favor isn't repaid, especially by those you feel closest to. What makes it worse is the realization that perhaps these certain individuals don't really care -- it certainly doesn't appear to be that way, anyway. I'm agonizing over it; trying to figure out what the hell happened, when it all turned to crap... but these people are going about their daily lives without a care in the world. Was that how much you valued our friendship? Enough so that when things turn sour, you can turn your back and completely ignore the situation at hand?
I know enough to realize that sometimes these friendships aren't salvageable. Doesn't make it any easier. One of life's greatest disappointments, in my opinion, is the fact that those closest to you are also the ones that seem to hurt you the most.
N.
"Friends are those who treat you kindly behind your back."
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10 comments:
I can understand what you must be feeling. Its tough to distinguish between good friends and true friends. But hey, cheer up coz life goes on and I am sure you will find your true buddy very soon.
Drop into my blog on friendship greeting cards for some beautiful e-greeting cards and friendly tips.
7abeebi wallah ;*
I dont know u but i know enough that ur not the kind of person who would hurt anyone intentionally, ud think that being that way ppl will treat u the same way right? Totally untrue. Everything in life goes in opposites. If you're nice, ppl are bad to you. If your mean, ppl at nice to you.
I wish it wasnt so.
Bs hatha ily 7a9il ;/
SO...
My plan has always been saway ily 3alaich....if u need to confront someone or make something clearer to them....just do it....then move on...dont dwell.
Sometimes the best a friend can do to another friend is giving the other some space to realise where things went wrong.
If they are truly good friends theyll be back, if not, know u are 1 headache less from complete peace of mind.
Hope this helps!
(I laaaaaaaaaaf yaw!!!)
Hey dear...this happens with everyone...we put all our friends to the test of time...some qualifies and some fails but does that mean we should stop living life in the way we have always lived?? nopz...u should take life as it somes coz various incidents makes us stronger and teaches us to take a grip on life....dont worry...every cloud has a silver lining and am sure u would soon get ur true friend...if u want some more tips on friendships...u can take a tour to my blog...am sure u would like it..best wishes :)
Sweeti, you ain't seen nothing yet!
Whatever is happening between you and this friend of yours is nothing new. Yes, it's painful but,
life will never cease to surprise you with incidents that'll boggle your mind. So, better to be prepared, to be strong.
Shake it off and go about you life as if nothing had happened.
And like delicately realistic said, look at the bright side of this, you have one less headache to worry about.
I keep on hoping that as life goes on and you get older and more experienced, these sort of qualms about friendship cease to exist. Everything falls into place, like dominoes. You get genuine, lifelong friends and everyone loves everyone else... of course, I could just as well live my life in a cocaine-induced haze; it's the only way I can see the aforementioned scenario ever taking place. High and only in my mind. I have ONE best friend. I don't let anyone get as close. That best friend is also related to me, which ensures two things: they are not allowed to talk about me behind my back since we are of the same blood and by some twisted logic he would be talking about himself behind his own back, and that whenever we fall out, the two black sheep of the family always find a social function where we realize how much we don't want to be sitting with anyone else but ourselves, and everything's fine again. It's not healthy, but it works! Also, remember, true friends are supposed to exceed your expectations, no matter how high they are.
The Sunscreen Song says "Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on."
It's okay not to be the pefect judge of character.
You just roll with the punches and go with the flow.
SHUT UP!! I was talking about this earlier today with a friend of mine! funny to read about it.. seems endless.
how can people be okay with screwing their friends?! it's like "yeah they got over it last time they'll get over it this time as well"
actually now, I expect the worst from everybody, and I do mean everybody, so that when it happens I'm all ready for it.
now back to you =P
nothing is worth it, and maybe you should expect nothing as that's when everything will be fine, it works really, I've tried.
I long to my true friends =} back when I was 3
This is a curious dilemma that I used to struggle with in my formative years. However, I decided to stop moaning like a piss-ant, nauseating adolescent and decided to fall back on alcohol and drugs to resolve most of my problems. May I suggest several quality dealers in the Khaitan area for you?
sincerely
Hamood il-3awar
friends are so overrated..
"Friendship is a sinking ship"
yeah, i'm going thru the friendship blues.. believe me, its ugly..
Great post on a serious topic, so serious it almost sound out of place, like Jim Carey in a horror flick.
Go out, buy something shiny. You'll feel better in no time.
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